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Soup Goes to the Movies
It was Jackie Mason who said "You know how movies always have sex scenes and the studios say that is because sex is part of life and movies should be lifelike? So why don't movies have more soup scenes? Soup is part of life; no one was ever too tired to have soup."
Well guess what? Soup is everywhere in the movies, from Spartacus igniting the slave rebellion by drowning the Centurion master in a pot of bean soup...to Inspector Oxford, in Hitchcock's Frenzy, actively dismayed by his wife's soupe de poisson. ...Ya gotta know NOW: In what new movie does a famous green actor dine on centipede and barley soup? Go to "K" below.
| Film | SoupScene |
|---|---|
| 301/302 (1995), Dir., Chul-Soo Park |
In this disturbing psychological drama between 2 damaged women living next door in a Korean high rise, bulimic Yoon Hee in Apt. 302 (Sin-Hye Hwang) disappears. The police question cooking-obsessed Song-Hee (Eun-jin Bang) in Apt. 301, who consults her cooking diary to verify that her last meal with Yoon Hee was Soup with Mushroom Sauce. Well, not exactly. This is a great movie to see if you're on a diet. You may never want to eat again. |
| Ace Ventura, Pet Detective (1994), Dir., Tom Shadyac |
On the trail of Snowflake, the kidnapped Superbowl dolphin, Ace (Jim Carrey) finds his way to a Death Metal Band club. Picking his way through the mosh pit, Ace bounds down some concrete stairs and hammers on a red door. "What's the password?' yells someone. "New England Clam Chowder!" shouts Ace. "Is that the red or the white?" "Ah, I can never remember that. White?" And the door opens to reveal his friend Woodstock (Raynor Scheine), a computer hippy fish specialist who punches a couple keystrokes and gives Ace his first real lead. |
| Achilles' Love (2000), Dir., Meredith Cole |
Unmarried Greek insurance agent Achilles (Mather Zickel) discovers Lucy (Claudia Besso) and they immediately snug in to a dinner of Avgolemono soup. |
| Age of Innocence (1993), Dir., Martin Scorsese |
Turtle Soup at ALL the fine dinner parties, usually the second of 12 to 14 courses. Early in the movie, a crate of small turtles (NOT sea turtles) is shown making its way to a kitchen). |
| Angel Heart (1987), Dir., Alan Parker |
Private Eye Harry Angel (Mickey Rourke), commissioned by Louis Cyphre (Robert De Niro) to find the mysterious Johnny Favorite, ends up in New Orleans voodoo territory, followed by a string of murders. Ethan Krusemark (Stocker Fontelieu) tries to help him out: EK: Hey, let's walk over here. It's a little private and you can sample our gumbo. HA: That's okay, I've got an acid stomach. That Cajun cooking kills me. EK: Pity about your stomach; you'd have enjoyed our gumbo. And Harry tosses a live crab into the huge boiling vat as he walks in for the promised heart to heart. Moments later, we find Ethan immersed headfirst in the pot, dead as a doornail. Then too there's Epiphany Proudfoot (Lisa Bonet), also fated to meet a bad end, defending her voodoo practices: "Oh, yeah, I know. You gotta kill the chicken to make the soup." Thanks to Anon. for the contribution! |
| Animal House (1978), Dir., John Landis |
It was 1962. Delta Tao Chi House of Faber College had selected its pledges. Dean Wormer (John Vernon) was not happy with Delta activities--and placed it on the dreaded double-secret probation. That was just about the time that Flounder (Steve Furst) ran afoul of Neidermeyer (Mark Metcalf), his commanding officer at ROTC, for wearing his Delta pledge pin on his uniform. Enter Boon (Peter Riegert) and Otter (Tim Matheson), who retaliated by hitting golf balls at Neidermeyer. Oops. What a hook: lands right in the soup kettle in the school cafeteria kitchen. ...Much later, we find John 'Bluto' Blutarksy (John Belushi) cruising the garbage trays in that same cafeteria. Hey, there's a bowl of soup (watery beef onion?) with a golf ball in it. Mmmmmmmm. He picks out the golf ball and eats it in 3 bites.
Many thanks to John Fox, historian and master archivist, for the contribution. |
| Another Day in Paradise (1998), Dir., Larry Clark |
Junkie and crook Sid (Melanie Griffith) ministers to a couple of druggie young kids in this gritty, anti-hero road movie, saying: "Don't let the fact that I'm spooning chicken soup into you blind you to the fact that I'm far from a role model." |
| Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), Dir., Frank Capra |
Mortimer Brewster's (Cary Grant's) Aunts Abby and Martha have taken quite a shine to bumping off old men with, per gallon of elderberry wine, a teaspoon of arsenic, half a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide. That doesn't prevent them from mothering the rest of Brooklyn: Abby: How's Missus Brophy? Officer Brophy: Oh she's better, thank you, but, uh, a little weak still. Abby: Oh, well I'll go and get a little beef broth for you to take to her. Officer Brophy: Oh, Miss Abby, please don't bother. You've done so much already. Abby: Oh, stuff and nonsense. I won't be a minute. |
| As Good As It Gets (1997), Dir., James L. Brooks |
When Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson), the meanest man in the world, begins to thaw in the company of Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt), he starts by babysitting the dog of neighbor Simon Bishop (Greg Kinnear), who has been brutally beaten. When he then actually brings Simon a bowl of soup, Simon can only focus on his own depression instead of on the fact that gay-bashing, curmudgeonly Melvin is now actively comforting him. |
| Babette's Feast (1987), Dir., Gabriel Axel |
Turtle soup kicks off the greatest meal these simple Jutlanders ever dreamed of eating. The movie opens with Martina and Filippa, Danish puritan sisters, taking the poor and sick villagers bowls of good soup. Only later do we find out why that soup is so good: it's been prepared by one of the great chefs of the world, transplanted to Jutland after a brutal French uprising in 1871. When this chef unexpectedly wins the lottery, years later, she spends every sou creating a 5-star meal in honor of Martina and Filippa's deceased pastor father, including this turtle soup. Happily, a famous Danish general is present at the meal who has the discrimination to say:
"Quite definitely, this is a genuine turtle soup. It is truly the best turtle soup I've had in years." |
| Batman (1989), Dir., Tim Burton |
Batman (Michael Keaton) invites Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger) to dinner at the Bat Mansion in the formal dining room. The following conversation ensues: He says, "How's the soup?" She says, "Excuse me?" He says, "The soup, how is it?" She says, "Great." She says, "Could you pass the salt?" "Sure," he says, "Did you have a hard time finding the house?" "Oh no, not at all," she says. "Good," he says. She says, "Do you like eating in here?" He says, "Oh yeah. ...Do you want to know the truth? I don't think I've ever been in this room before. Do you want to get out of here?" "Yes," she says. And they pick up their flat soup bowls and spoons and join Alfred in the kitchen. |
| Batman Returns (1992), Dir., Tim Burton |
Alfred (Michael Gough) serves vichyssoise to Batman (Michael Keaton) who is at work in front of his computer...and who immediately complains that the soup is cold. |
| Best in Show (2000), Dir., Christopher Guest |
Wealthy socialite dog owner Sherri Ann Cabot (Jennifer Coolidge) coos about her much older husband Leslie Ward Cabot (Patrick Cranshaw): "We share a lot of interests. We love soup and the outdoors." |
| The Bicycle Thief (1949), Dir., Vittorio DeSica |
In their desperate sojourn to recover a bicycle, Antonio (Lamberto Maggiorani) and son Bruno (Enzo Staiola) stumble into a church-run soup kitchen where the poor and homeless customers are literally locked into a chapel to ensure that they hear Mass before being fed. |
| Billy Madison (1995), Dir., Tamra Davis |
Dopey Billy (Adam Sandler) must repeat elementary, middle, and high school grades, in 2-week increments, to not be cut out of his father's billion dollar hotel business. Along the way, he shows us how to slurp soup as an art form. Thanks to Graham Bierlein for the contribution. He comments, "Nobody else seems to enjoy their soup as much as he does. If you own the DVD, the slurping is a lot funnier in Spanish." |
| The Birdcage (1996), Dir., Mike Nichols |
Gay couple Armand (Robin Williams) and Arnold (Nathan Lane) Goldman are putting on their best straight act to entertain the parents of son Val's fiancee--the arch conservative Senator (Gene Hackman) and Mrs. (Dianne Wiest) Kevin Keeley. What better than a nice dinner? So Agador (Hank Azaria) whips up a little so-called "Guatamalan Seafood Chowder," with whole hardboiled eggs in it--serving it up in pornographic Greek boy soupbowls--and no entree. "No entree? NO ENTREE?" "Thees peasant soup IS an entree...it just LIKE a soup. What you think? I should put in the shrimp?" |
| The Bishop's Wife (1947), Dir., Henry Koster |
The angel Dudley (Cary Grant) appears to Bishop Henry Brougham (David Niven) for the first time in the bishop's study. When Niven asks Grant to make an appointment with his secretary in the morning because he is in the middle of dinner, Grant replies "Don't worry Henry, your soup will keep warm." [Many thanks for the anonymous contribution!) |
| Bossa Nova (2000), Dir., Bruno Barreto |
Set in Rio de Janeiro, this romantic comedy revolves around heroine expat Mary Ann Simpson (Amy Irving, wife of the Director) and her tangle of loves and acquaintances. Among the best comedic moments is a middle-aged woman's alarming discovery that her new Chinese lover slurps his soup. |
| Bowery at Midnight (1942), Dirs., Wallace Fox |
In this "poverty row" cult classic, Dr. Brenner (Bela Lugosi) is, by day, a professor of psychology. By night, he appears to be Karl Wagner, a sweet soul with a soft touch who runs a nightly Bowery mission, spooning out bowls of soup for needy tramps with nowhere to go--but, in reality he is a fiendish criminal, using his soup kitchen as a front for a criminal gang that commits robberies for him...only to be killed by him for their troubles. Surprise ending: when the law catches up to him and chases him back into the soup kitchen, his mad doctor co-conspirator (Lew Kelly) leads him to a secret basement where all his murdered associates--now brought back to life by Doc Brooks--are waiting for him.... Opening dialogue of bums in The Friendly Mission:
1st bum: "See the guy [Bela Lugosi] handing out the soup? He's the guy that runs the place. I'll give you a poisonal introduction...."Thanks and a hug to Art Meyer for the contribution.
|
| Brassed Off (1996), Dir., Mark Herman |
Alas, small, industrial Grimley, in rural England, is threatened with the shutdown of its coal mine, not to mention its brass band. Coping by pouring their energies and money into the upcoming band competition, two band members are severely dressed down by two women in the town. As they walk off, one says to the other, "Soup for brains, the pair of them." (Thanks to Steve McMullen for the contribution, gleaned on vacation in Edinburgh, Scotland) |
| Bridget Jones' Diary (2001), Dir., Sharon McGuire |
At her first formal dinner party, Bridget (Renée Zellweger) creates a sensation when she produces peacock blue leek soup...thanks to tying the leeks with blue yarn before popping them in the pot. |
| Brokedown Palace (1999), Dir., Jonathan Kaplan |
Poor Alice (Claire Danes) and Darlene (Kate Beckinsale) get set up in Thailand, caught with some kilos of heroine in their luggage, and end up sentenced to 40 years in a perfectly dreadful prison...with only scummy rotten soup to sustain them. |
| Bueno Vista Social Club (1999), Dir., Wim Wenders |
Compay Segundo, Cuban musician extraordinaire, opens this documentary in 1998 Havana, looking for his old neighborhood music and dance club. As people in the street try to help the 90-year-old tres player, he stops to ask the cameraman: "You know what I eat when I drink too much? Black coquetero soup. Consomme, chicken consomme. You start with a chicken neck, then throw in some garlic...." |
| A Bug's Life (1998), Dirs., John Lasseter and Andrew Stanton |
Where a fly at a restaurant complains, "Waiter, I'm in my soup!" |
| Bugsy Malone (1976), Dir., Alan Parker |
This odd musical/gangster movie is played by an all-kid cast, including a young Jodie Foster who has the hots for Bugsy (Scott Baio). When a gangland war begins, fought with cream pies against a higher tech machine gun that shoots marshmallows, Bugsy goes to a soup kitchen to enlist homeless guys in the fight. It's all heart, seeing soup being ladled into bowls and guys sitting at a table slurping it while Bugsy (lip-syncing a song) tries to convince them to help him smash Dandy Dan. This classic is a fave of Steve McMullen, who saw it in the theater with his girlfriend, soon to become his wife. |
| Buona Sera, Mrs. Campbell (1968), Dir., Melvin Frank |
It's a great scam: Italian beauty Carla Campbell (Gina Lollabrigida) gets romanced by three G.I.'s during World War II--then has each of them pay alimony for the daughter they think is their own...until they all show up to visit their long lost daughter. How did unwed Carla pick her married last name? From a can of Campbell's soup she found on the shelf. Many thanks to S. Best in Brampton, Ontario, for the contribution. |
| Butterfly Tongues (2000), or La lengua de las mariposas/A lingua das bolboretas in 1999, Dir., José Luis Cuerda |
In this shattered memoir of 1936 Spain on the brink of civil war, soup operates as a symbol of family tranquillity: first, boiling over on the stove when Moncho (Manuel Lozano) argues with his mother (Uxia Blanco) over the existence of God and the devil; second, served from a tureen as a sacrament of family life--the traditional Galician soup with pork and lots of cabbage; and third, offered to Don Gregorio (Fernando Fernán Gómez) as a restorative after he wades into a river with Moncho to save him from a dangerous asthma attack. Not that such friendship saves the good professor from being carted off at the end to be shot as a Red. |
| Caddyshack (1980), Dir., Harold Ramis |
In this over-the-top comedy, Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield) diplomatically comments to Judge Smalls (Ted Knight), "Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though." |
| Cat People (1982), Dir., Paul Schrader |
It's an ominous start to a feline gothic tale when Irena (Nastassja Kinski) comes to New Orleans to meet her mysterious older brother Paul (Malcolm McDowell). Turns out they're from an ancient cat-god race and can only mate with each other without turning into killer panthers. Paul has been marking time, chaining himself in cages and turning to religion, with only the occasional kill. Now it's the big moment. Voodoo-looking Female (Ruby Dee) presides at the dinner table. Paul says the blessing and they cross themselves--then Female serves the soup. "Hmmmmmmmm," Paul says. "Watch out. This is hot," Female says. Irena tries to break away and make a phonecall. "Well, sit down now, then, you can call after dinner," Paul insists. "This is Female's Special Gumbo. Special Gumbo tonight from yeseterday's chicken," Paul says ominously. "Right, right," says Female.
Many thanks to movie meister Gerry Nepomuceno, who not only suggested it, but also told me where I could rent it. |
| Le Cavaleur (1979), Dir., Phillippe de Broca |
Edouard Choiseul (Jean Rochefort), concert pianist and aging fast, finally burns through all the wives and mistresses in his life and finds himself alone with his music and one small student in remote Ploumarech. Enter daughter Pompom with news of her pregnancy. In the film's climactic moment, he leaps up, alive again, shouting, "How about that! Andre, I'm a grandfather! Good, good. I'll grow a beard and wear a velvet bathrobe. Your (Pompon's) kids on my left, your sisters on my right, me in the middle serving soup--and there I'll stay!" |
| Charlotte Gray (2002), Dir., Gillian Armstrong |
Such a bitter relationship between cantankarous father Levade (Michael Gambon) and his communist son Julien (Billy Crudup), who is risking all in the resistance in German-occupied France. They briefly reconcile before Levade is carried away to a concentration camp: Sit down, says Levade, serving up soup from the fireplace kettle. It's still warm. It's important to eat. |
| A Chef in Love (1996), or Les mille et une recettes du cuisinier amoureux, Dir., Nana Dzhordzhadze |
It's Tbilisi, Georgia, in the 1920s and soviet comrade Zigmund (Timur Kamkhadze) is finally able to force his beloved Princess Cecilia Abachidze (Nino Kirtadze) out of the house of great chef Pascal Ichak (Pierre Richard). Ah, but not out of his bed nor arms. Coming home one day, Zigmund hears them at it through the bedroom door. That's when, resonating on many different levels, he fetches a big pot of soup and gobbles it up in big spoonsful as he strides back and forth in front of that door, listening raptly to the sounds of pleasure just out of his reach. |
| Cleopatra (1963), Dir., Joseph Mankiewicz |
In this stunning epic, which launched the scandalous romance of Liz and Dick, Roddy McDowell takes on Octavius' wooden dignity following the death of Richard Burton's character, saying "Antony is dead? You say that as if it were an everyday occurence. The soup is hot, the soup is cold. Antony is alive, Antony is dead." |
| A Clockwork Orange (1971), Dir., Stanley Kubrick |
In the making of this shattering political allegory, based on the novel by Anthony Burgess, Malcolm McDowell endured Kubrick's outrageous demands for perfection, nearly drowning after his face was pushed into a saucepan of soup and Kubrick refused to shout "cut!" |
| Clue (1985) Dir., Jonathan Lynn |
In this silly knock off of a Milton-Bradley board game, the usual suspects gather at the mansion. Butler Wadsworth (Tim Curry) ushers them into the dining room. Cook (Kellye Nakahara) serves sharkfin soup as the first course. Professor Plum (Christopher Lloyd) slurps, then Miss White (Madaeline Kahn). Miss Peacock (Eileen Brennan) takes charge, stopping everyone "dead" with a long soliloquy ending in "...and, oh my, this soup's delicious, isn't it?" That's right before the monkey brain course...and all the murders. Thanks to Graham Bierlein for the contribution. |
| Cold Dog Soup (1990), Dir., Alan Metter |
Michael (Frank Whaley) and taxidriving Jack Cloud (Randy Quaid) try to get rid of Michael's hot date's dead dog (an overdose of olives and margaritas) so Michael can get back to a hoped-for night of pleasure. When they hopefully stop at a Chinese restaurant, Madame Chang (Nancy Kwan) says that Jasper has been dead too long to make "cold dog soup" even if you add watercress, white pepper and a few scallions. She adds, "I can't serve stiff dog. It's not fair to my customers." |
| Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon(2000) Dir., Ang Lee |
Tea rituals are everywhere in this dreamy epic, but a soup worthy of Master Chef Chu--in Lee's earlier Eat Drink Man Woman--is revealed in an early scene when the policeman Tsai's knuckles are rapped and he is told to wait until the master serves himself first. And then, wait, that was Shark Fin Soup that Jen Yu (Ziyi Zhang) ordered at the inn, right before she destroyed the joint and all the guys in it. |
| Crush(2001) Dir., John McKay |
25-year-old Jed (Kenny Doughty) endears himself to his former teacher Kate (Andie McDowell) with his snakeskin cowboy boots and his gauche soup slurping. |
| Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982), Dir., Carl Reiner |
In this affectionate parady of 1940's thrillers, Steve Martin as Rigby Reardon enquires, "Can I use her underwear to make soup?" |
| Diary of a Lost Girl (1929), Dir., G. W. Pabst |
In this wrenching silent film melodrama, Thymiane (Louise Brooks) is raped, forced to give up the resulting child, and sent to a brutal reform school where in one very long scene all the bad girls are eating their soup at a long table in rigid synchonization. The soup--all the girls are given to eat--is a disgusting thick black goo served in thick wooden bowls. When Thymiane escapes both the school and her later life in prostitution to be adopted by a German count, she returns to the school as part of its aristocratic board...and exposes its horrors when one of the board members shows her delicate turtle soup in an exquisite porcelain cup, saying "Wonderful--you must taste the delicious soup they make here." |
| Domestic Disturbance (2001), Dir., Harold Becker |
Bad guy Ray Coleman (Steve Buscemi) confronts just as bad guy Rick Barnes (Vince Vaughan) at his wedding: "Did you register for a soup tureen? That's what I woulda gotten you...if I'd been invited." |
| Double Whammy (2001), Dir., Tom DiCillo |
Watch for the scene when Elizabeth Hurley angrily slams a roll into a bowl of soup, because she is annoyed by customers smoking cigarettes--and splashes everyone at the table. During the filming, she missed the bowl and hit a poor extra in the head. An apology and ice pack later, filming resumed. |
| Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), Dir., Stanley Kubrick |
Mad as a hatter, General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) buttonholes his British attaché (Peter Sellars, in one of his 3 roles), saying "Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk...ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream. |
| Dumb and Dumber (1994), Dir., Peter Farrelly |
Who can forget Lloyd (Jim Carrey) asking the waitress, "What's the soup de jour?" "It's the soup of the day," she says. "Hmmmmm," he says, "That sounds good. I'll have that." Many thanks to Jaimi from Florida who contributed the actual spoken words! |
| Eat Drink Man Woman (1995), Dir., Ang Lee |
Master Chef Chu (Sihung Lung), alone and repressed, caring for 3 troubled daughters and having completely lost his sense of taste, paces out his days with little joy. In an early scene, he takes little neighbor Shanshan her lunch box at elementary school with her favorite bitter melon soup--but it's in the final scene that his critical taste for soup shows his recovered zest for life:
What's wrong?" Jia-Chien (Chien-Lien Wu) says. |
| Eliska Loves It Wild (2000), or Eliska má ráda divocinu (1999), Dir., Otakáro Schmidt |
In this Czech movie, lifeguard and amateur cabaret performer Marcelo (Bolek Polivka) and his beloved wife Eliska (Zuzana Stivinova) entertain their friends with a special meal: hallucinogenic mushrooms dumped in a large soup. |
| The Elusive Pimpernel (1950), Dirs., Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger |
Richard Layne, devoté of Powell/Pressburger movies discovered this excellent soup reference in this remake of the Scarlet Pimpernel, originally written as a novel by Hungarian Baroness Emmuska Orczy and designed here (but not ultimately produced) as a musical: "Chauvelin (Cyril Cusack) is enjoying a nice bowl of soup, when he is interrupted by the Scarlet Pimpernel (David Niven). Chauvelin leaves the rest of his soup, and the Pimpernel helps himself to a bowl. However, the Pimpernel doesn't finish his soup either!!! It's all a cunning trick so he can substitute pepper for the Chauvelin's snuff and make good his escape...." Many thanks, Richard, for this 4th Powell/Pressburger citation! |
| Emma (1996), Dir., Douglas McGrath |
Emma Woodhouse (Gwyneth Paltrow) takes soup to an ill neighbor, Mrs. Clark, and then encourages Harriet (Toni Collette) to take credit for the visit and the soup in order to impress Harriet's potential suitor Mr. Elton (Alan Cumming), the vicar.
Many thanks to Gwen Carl from Mount Berry, Georgia, for the contribution. |
| The Emperor's New Clothes (2001), Dir., Alan Taylor |
Pumpkin (Iben Hjejle) offers Napolean (Ian Holm) soup broth, promising him it will build up his defenses (against infection). |
| Enemy at the Gates (2001), Dir., Jean-Jacques Annaud |
Who could forget Annaud's unforgettable line: "Try not to spill the soup, you Marxist bastard?" |
| Eye of the Needle (1981), Dir., Richard Marquand |
Ice-cold Faber (Donald Sutherland), supposedly shipwrecked on a remote English island, is a German spy who unexpectedly enters the lives of a handicapped man and his sexually frustrated wife Lucy (Kate Nelligan). When Lucy discovers him cold and hungry, she feeds him hot soup and watches him eat it. Sutherland sips the soup, smiling, saying that it is good soup and he is very hungry. The tension is already building in this chilling tale. Many thanks to Steve McMullen of Anaheim, CA, for the contribution! |
| ExistenZ (1999), Dir., David Cronenberg |
Ted Pikul (Jude Law) sits in a Chinese restaurant and assembles a gristle gun from the unappetising contents of soup--then shoots his waiter dead. |
| The Exorcist (1973), Dir., William Friedkin |
Okay, strictly speaking, no soup scenes...but who could forget the pea soup disgorged by poor possessed Linda Blair? |
| Father of the Bride (1950), Dir., Vincente Minnelli |
Just as Stanley Banks (Spencer Tracy) finishes his interminable financial presentation to future son-in-law Buckley (Don Taylor) and invites him to respond, wife Ellie (Joan Bennett) pops in: "Come on you two, soup's on the table." Stanley: "Oh, oh, well we'll have to go into that another time. We mustn't keep Kay (Elizabeth Taylor) waiting any longer." |
| Fiddler on the Roof (1971), Dir. Norman Jewison |
Remember that incredibly long opening scene that is prelude to the Sabbath dinner? It all ends at table, focused on Golde's beautiful cream and gold soup tureen. |
| Fight Club (1999), Dir., David Fincher |
In this meditation on and celebration of violence, Tyler Durdan (Brad Pitt) and The Narrator (Edward Norton) start an ultraviolent Fight Club where young men meet secretly to beat each other senseless. The Narrator is first drawn to the deep alienation of this waiter he meets on a plane when Tyler tells him that he gets his kicks by pissing into the soup of his patrons.
Narrator: He was the guerilla terrorist for the food service industry. Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well...
|
| Fighting for Love (2001), Dir., Joe Ma |
Here's where tripe soup restaurant owner Tony Leung Chiu Wai literally runs into Sammi Cheng, a gorgeous business executive, to start the movie off with a bang. |
| Finding Forrester (2000), Dir. Gus Van Sant |
All-time-great-and-reclusive writer William Forrester (Sean Connery), after 40 years of living off canned soup from a hotplate, nurtures b-ball player/writer Jamal (Rob Brown) with such pithiness as ""That's not a soup question. ...Soup nourishes, and so should questions." The soup theme runs through the film, a metaphor for "what's important." |
| Forrest Gump (1994), Dir., Robert Zemeckis |
When that box-of-chocolates kind of guy makes it down to Louisiana, he runs into Bubba Blue (Mykelti Williamson), who passes on new wisdom for the ages: "Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimip is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. that--that's about it." |
| Frenzy (1972), Dir., Alfred Hitchcock |
Inspector Oxford (Alec McCowen) is perplexed less by the serial murders than by his wife's French cooking. When Mrs. Oxford (Vivien Merchant) brings a tureen to the table, he recoils in disbelief. "It's soupe de poisson, dear. I know you'll enjoy it." "I have no doubt of it...what exactly is it, this soup?" "Why, don't you like it?" "Hmmmm! It's delicious. But I find the ingredients are somewhat mystifying." "There's smelt, ling, hung eel, John Dory, pilchards, and frogfish. A now, since that must have been fairly satisfying, I thought a simple roast bird would be enough...." |
| From Soup to Nuts (1930) | Laurel and Hardy take us from the one to the other |
| The Girl Can't Help It (1952), Dir., Frank Tashlin |
Tom Miller (Tom Ewell), a washed up talent agent trying to make a rock and roll star out of gangster moll Jerri (Jayne Mansfield), is taken sick. Jerri takes pity, puts him in her bed, and brews up some soup. When her boyfriend Marty (Edmund O'Brien) bursts in and wants to know what's going on, Jerry angrily tells him she's just giving Tom some bouillon, then dumps the small, handled, blue and white tureen of bouillon over Marty's head. (Thanks to Steve McMullen for the contribution!) |
| Gladiator (2000), Dir., Scott Ridley |
What a sweet homage to Spartacus drowning the gladiator master in bean soup: Former Roman General Maximus Decimus Meridius (Russell Crowe) is in Rome, a slave gladiator in the Coliseum gaining favor with the masses and the emnity of Emperor Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix). Plots are running high when he goes to get his slave portion of bean soup and brings it back to eat with his slave pals. They look askance. They think it's poisoned. Tigris of Gaul (Sven-Ole Thorsen) sacrifices himself and takes a bite. He colors, gags, chokes badly...then bursts into laughter. They all laugh. "You have a great name," says Juba (Djimon Hounsou), explaining why Commodus would not poison his enemy at this point. "He must kill your name before he kills you." |
| Goodfellas (1990), Dir., Martin Scorsese |
Pasta e Fagiole |
| Gremlins (1984), Dir., Joe Dante |
It's all over. The town is wrecked. The theater with most of the gremlins in it has blown sky high. Gizmo has gotten rid of the evil Stripe and is now recuperating during the evening news broadcast in the Peltzer living room. Mrs. Peltzer (Lee McCain) says brightly, "I'd bet he'd like some chicken soup!" Thank goodness Grandfather (Keye Luke) shows up to take him away. His comment to the Peltzers: I can't believe you taught him to watch television!" |
| Groundhog Day (1993), Dir., Harold Ramis |
After about a year of serial deja vus on February 2 in Puxatawny, Pennsylvania, weatherman Phil Connors (Bill Murray) notices the homeless man (Les Podewell) he's ignored every single day of that time--and discovers the old man is fated to die that very day. What's he do? Feeds him chicken soup, of course--not just one bowl, but two. Can't hold off fate, but the old man sure does die happy.
Thanks to Graham Bierlein for this excellent contribution! |
| Guess Who's Coming For Dinner? (1967), Dir., Stanley Kramer |
White upperclass Joanna (Katherine Houghton) brings black upperclass Dr. Prentiss (Sidney Poitier) home to her parent's San Francisco palace to announce their engagement and meets the stiffest opposition from beloved black family maid Tillie (Isabel Sanford). Following words in the bedroom, Joanna says, "Oh, listen, uh, what are we having for dinner tonight?" Tillie: "Celery soup and rump steak..." Joanna: Oh come on, Tillie, Turtle Soup and Tournedos...and one of your best pies." |
| Hail the Conquering Hero (1944), Dir., Preston Sturges |
In which Sturges stages a joke "backwards" meal in which a character is first seen eating a piece of pie, in the next scene eating a roast beef dinner, and finally "finishing" the meal in the next scene with a bowl of soup. |
| Heart Beat (1980), Dir. John Byrum |
In this leaden depiction of the beat generation, the Allen Ginsburg character tries to entice Neal Cassady (Nick Nolte) into a trip to Mexico at a Chinese restaurant. When Carolyn Cassady (Sissy Spacek) objects, Neal asks if the trip can be put off. "Put it off? Til when? Til we get strangled by bullshit? Neal, this entire society is decadent, man--it's diseased. There's a definite conspiracy, you know, to choke every man, woman, and child in America on the feces of mediocrity." With that, he leaps to his feet: "Take this wonton, for example. Waiter! There's a turd in my soup!" |
| Heavens Above (1963), Dirs. John and Roy Boulting |
Peter Sellers turns the parish ministry into a soup kitchen. |
| Help! (1965), Dir. Richard Lester |
In this adorable farce, a cook in an Indian restaurant is drowned in a pot of soup. The soup is served to the lads. They find all sorts of things in the soup: "What's this?...It's a season ticket...Oh, I like seasoning in my soup...(finally)...Someone's BEEN in this soup!!!" Many thanks to Enid Karr from Concord, Massachusetts, for the contribution. |
| Hidden Fortress (1959), Dir., Akira Kurosawa |
Two vagabonds, Tahei (Minoru Chiaki) and Matakishi (Katamari Fujiwara), after escaping certain death, are stirring up a big kettle of rice congee soup in the middle of nowhere, complaining about the lousy firewood that won't burn. Finally throwing one of the firebrands in disgust, they discover the Akizuki gold hidden in its core. They're the inspirations for Lucas' R2D2 and C3PO robots in Star Wars. |
| The Hitch-Hiker (1953), Dir., Ida Lupino |
Two buddies, Roy (Edmund O'Brien) and Gilbert (Frank Lovejoy), are on a fishing trip in Mexico (Baja) and pick up a hitch-hiker (William Talman), who turns out to be a manipulative killer. As the hitchhiker forces them south, over the border, they all stop at a little Mexican general store to get some supplies. Talman says "...get some beans and rice...and get tomato soup. I like that. Get four cans." Thanks to Trevor McMullen for the reference. Heaven only knows where he got his hands on this difficult to find classic film noir. |
| Hotel de Love (1996), Dir., Craig Rosenburg |
Australian romantic comedy about two identical twin brothers in love with the same girl...and in which the butler manages to piss into the soup. |
| Hot Shots (1991), Dir., Jim Abrahams |
Forever at cross purposes, Admiral Benson (Lloyd Bridges) quizzes Lt. Commander Block (Kevin Dunn): Benson: Ahhh...I love soup. At least I think I love soup. Blasted shell! It's either soup or duck. Which one do you shoot? Block: Duck, sir. [Admiral Benson hits his head on his desk while ducking] Block: Are you alright, sir? Benson: Oh course I'm alright! Why, what have you heard? |
| The Hurricane (1999), Dir., Norman Jewison |
How does Reuben "The Hurricane" Carter (Denzel Washington) get through his unjust years in prison--writing his biography, refusing to leave his cell, refusing to go by prison rules, refusing to eat prison food? Tomato soup. Concentrated Campbell's Tomato Soup...that he cooks up himself in his cell with a little heating coil. (Okay, and it's a product placement, too.) |
| I Know Where I'm Going (1945), Dirs., Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger |
Joan Webster (Wendy Hiller) takes her father (George Carney) to an expensive restaurant to inform him of her engagement to a wealthy and much older man. They are served soup, which is not eaten and is ultimately removed by the waiter. Not long after, following a terrible Scottish storm at sea, Joan falls in love with poor and young Torquil MacNeil (Roger Livesy).
Many thanks to Richard Layne of Great Britain for contributing this and other Powell/Pressburger films, which share "uneaten soup" as a recurrent theme. See The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp and The Small Back Room, infra. |
| In the Mood (1987), Dir., Phil Alden Robinson |
Patrick Dempsey plays the real-life role of 15-year-old Ellsworth "Sonny" Wisecarver, the woo woo boy of the 1940s famous for seducing older women. When he is sent to his uncle's rabbit farm, he asks why they kill the little rabbits...and is saddened at the wastefulness of using only the rabbit skin until his uncle tells him, "With the rest we make soup." Many thanks to Trevor McMullen, "offspring of the sharpest soup eyes in the territory," for this great contribution. |
| In the Mood for Love (2000), Dir., Kar-wai Wong |
One of the most hypnotic and compelling, many layered and poignant films I've ever seen, it's awash in noodles and soup, up and down those narrow stairs in Hong Kong, littered in claustrophobic rooms. How could Mrs. Chan (Maggie Cheung) never once drip a drop of those sloppy meals on any of her dozens of cheongsam outfits? |
| Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984), Dir., Stephen Spielberg |
Willie (Kate Capshaw) and Indiana (Harrison Ford) attend an unexpectedly lavish and odd banquet at the Danquot Palace. Served exotic monkey heads and other arcana, poor starving Willie finally requests:
"Do you have anything simple...like soup?"Her reaction, upon being served a personal tureen of milky eyeball soup, is not pretty. |
| It Could Happen to You (1994), Dir., Andrew Bergman |
Just as the forlorn lovebirds are at the end of their rope, they invite Angel Du Pris (Isaac Hayes) in out of the rain and feed him a bowl of chicken soup. Angel is disguised as a homeless person. He reflects, "Tonight I, Angel Du Pris, a photographer for the New York Post for 10 years, have the opportunity to study grace and generosity under the direst of circumstances. Even in their darkest hour, the stalwart Officer Lang (Nicolas Cage) and goodhearted Miss Biasi (Bridget Fonda) shared a bowl of soup with me. When I left, this good samaritan gave me money from his own pocket, wishing it could be more." Angel gets his story and spreads it all over the Big Apple--putting into motion the ultimate salvation of the lovers. |
| Jan Dar (2001), Dir., Nonzee Nimibutr |
This Thai movie about sex, guilt, and retribution in 1930s Bangkok is summed up in a scene where an old man refuses his soup, disgusted by his woman making love to another woman |
| Kermit's Swamp Years, Dir., David Gumpel |
In this prequel to The Muppet Movie, the young Kermit dines on centipede and barley soup. |
| A King in New York (1957), Dir., Charlie Chaplin |
Charlie Chaplin mimes turtle soup in a noisy restaurant in this sarcastic comedy about a suave, deposed European monarch who is confronted with the vulgarities of modern American life. Chaplin's last bittersweet film before being hauled before McCarthy's House Hearings on Un American Activities. |
| The Lady Vanishes (1938), Dir., Alfred Hitchcock |
Young English woman Iris Henderson (Margaret Lockwood) and her musician friend Gilbert Redman (Michael Redgrave)--earnestly searching for the missing elderly Miss Froy (Dame May Whitty) on a trans European train trip--are served soup in the dining car of the train. Margaret eats none of her soup, but Michael is so engrossed in eating his that he fails to notice the name of Miss Froy written on the carriage window.
Many thanks to Richard Layne of Great Britain for this excellent contribution. |
| The Legend of 1900, or La Leggenda del Pianista Sull'oceano (1998), Dir., Giuseppe Tornatore |
Abandoned baby "1900" is raised on the cruise ship The Virginian by an engine room worker (Bill Nunn), and rises to being a celebrated piano savant. How is he educated? From discarded racing forms..."Drinkwater over Vegetable Soup by three lengths...." Thanks to Steve and Trevor McMullen for the soup reference! |
| The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (1943), Dirs., Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger |
A story of the British soldier, from the Boer War through World World I and into the years of World War II. Clive Candy (Roger Livesy) has fought or tried to fight in all of them, with the gallant old ideals of earlier times--and in flashbacks he meets up throughout with his Prussian friend Theo (Anton Walbrook) and 3 women, all played by Deborah Kerr. Clive, his female driver "Johnny," and Theo are all served soup for dinner...which they fail to eat. It is ultimately removed by Clive's batman (John Laurie).
Many thanks to Richard Layne of Great Britain for contributing this and other Powell/Pressburger films, which share "uneaten soup" as a recurrent theme. See I Know Where I'm Going and The Small Back Room, infra. |
| Like Water for Chocolate (1992), Dir., Alfonso Arau |
This homage to the transmutation of love through food opens with the birth of the extraordinary cook Tita: "fed by Nacha, Tita grew up in the kitchen amid the smells of the kitchen, chicken soup, thyme, laurel, steamed milk, garlic, and, of course, onion." And it is soup--Chencha's bowl of magic beef broth--that restores Tita to life after she suffers from a nervous breakdown. As she comes back from the brink of madness and speaks, Chencha says, "Broths can cure any type of illness, be it physical or mental." |
| Lost Horizon (1937), Dir., Frank Capra |
The last plane takes off in 1935 from Baskul airfield in China, escaping a local revolution, commanded by British diplomat Robert Conway (Ronald Coleman) and including a motley group of "white evacuees." Once in the air, British paleontologist Alexander P. Lovett (Edward Everett Horton) gleefully unveils his fabulous archeological discovery to swindler Henry Barnard (Thomas Mitchell). "Wait a minute. You expect to be knighted for finding that soupbone?" "This," Lovey harrumphs, "is the vertebrae of a megatherium found in Asia...." |
| The Madness of King George (1994), Dir., Nicholas Hytner |
Bound, beaten, and bearded, King George (Nigel Hawthorne) is bundled off to Lincolnshire hospital by pre-Freudian Dr. Willis (Ian Holm). Restrained in a chair, the King is fed a spoonful of beef broth by Willis, which he quite deliberately blows out in Willis' face. But the next spoonful? The King swallows, knowing and hating his submission. "I'm here. But I'm not all there," he says. Next scene he is shown eating his own broth with a spoon. He gets a round of applause from his attendants for being such a good boy. |
| Man of the Century (1999), Dir., Adam Abraham |
Johnny Twennies (Gibson Frazier) shows up late for his mother's high society dinner party. Soup plates are glaringly empty, waiting for his arrival. And they continue to languish, ostentatiously, while Johnny successively excuses himself from the table to open the door to...Lester Lanin and his 6 piece orchestra...a men's room attendant...his editor at the newspaper...a gay art dealer...a dizzy hatcheck girl...an Italian poseur and his browny bouncer Maurice...his gay, arty news photographer...his girlfriend...and a host of others. |
| The Man Without a Past (2002) or, Mies Vailla Menneisyttaä, Dir., Aki Kaurismaki |
A man (Markko Petola) who has been beaten into amnesia in Helsinki ultimately wanders into a Salvation Army post and falls in love with the woman (Kati Gutinen) who serves him soup. |
| The Marx Brothers in A Night in Casablanca (1946), Dir., Archie Mayo |
New Hotel Manager Ronald Kornblow (Groucho) trips as he approaches a femme fatale dining at the Hotel Casablanca with disguised Nazi butcher Heinrich Stubel (Sig Roman), driving his hand into Stubel's soup plate. Kornblow says, "I, I usually put my foot into it." Stubel leaps up, "You fool, see what you've done to my shirt?" Kornblow: "Sorry, you can hardly notice it unless you're looking for a plate of soup," brushing off the shirt front with the table flowers. Later, Stubel's valet Rusty (Harpo) tries to warn Kornblow's self-appointed body guard Corbaccio (Chico) of Stubel's plot to kill Kornblow. In an extended game of charades, Rusty mimes the news. Corbaccio: "You got something for Kornblow?" Rusty nods yes...and slurps an imaginary bowl. Corbaccio: "Soup?" Rusty nods yes...and uses imaginary chopsticks. Corbaccio: Eatta chop suey? Eatta chow mein? Eatta rice?" Rusty nods yes...then slurps soup, eats rice, slurps soup, eats rice.... Corbaccio: "Soup and rice. Soup and rice. Soup-rice, soup-rice, surprise. Oh ho, you gotta surprise for Kornblow...." |
| Matilda (1996), Dir., Danny DeVito |
Insanely bad mom Zinnia Wormword (Rhea Perlman) leaves precocious Matilda alone at age 3 for the day so she (mom) can play bingo: "Soup's on the stove. Heat it up if you get hungry," she says to the wee tot. Matilda trashes the product placement--an opened can of Campbell's soup sitting in a pan of water--and makes perfect pancakes instead. |
| Memento (2000), Dir., Christopher Nolan |
Just a little bitty quiet soup scene in this violent, reverse fugue, mental reconstruction of murder and revenge. Leonard Shelby (Guy Pearce) sits at a diner counter with crooked cop/snitch/drug dealer Teddy (Joe Pantoliano), each spooning down kale soup as they talk. The eye in a hurricane of a movie. |
| Memories of a Marriage (Dansen med Regitze,1989), Dir., Kaspar Rustrup |
Karl Aage (Frits Helmuth) reflects on his lifetime with beloved Regitze (Gita Nørby) as they hold their annual summer garder party after her diagnosis of terminal cancer. Karl Aage remembers when his mother-in-law goes on a hunger strike until they agree to baptize their son in church. As she approaches death, he goes to her: "I've brought you some nourishing soup, Mum. It'll do you good." She refuses...and, of course, she wins, as the baptismal photograph in the next scene shows. |
| Midnight Cowboy (1969), Dir., John Schlesinger |
In this affecting down-and-out buddy movie, naive Joe Buck (John Voight) comes home from a frightening night with an alley cat of rich New Yorker (Brenda Vaccaro) to the condemned building he shares with streetwise Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman), finding him literally on his last legs. Ratso says, "That hot?" looking at the gas light. "Yeah, ya want some soup?" "Yeah" "Okay, I'll get ya some soup then." As Joe rattles on, Ratso says, "Gimme some soup, gimme some soup." "Whatya think I'm gettin' here? I'm gettin' you some soup. Lookit there, there's some good healthy stuff for ya. There's soup." "Thanks." "It's hot; watch out." Ratso eats the soup from a mug with a spoon and grunts, "Good soup." [Thanks to Vance Lipovac of Des Moines, Iowa, for the contribution] |
| Minestrone (1975), Dir., Danny DeVito |
In this independent film, a paranoid Italian film maker finds a tiny skin diver in this soup. He holds the little guy on the end of his spoon and engages him in conversation. Certain in the end that he's been sent by another film director--Fellini, Antonioni, or DeSica--to steal his ideas, he ends by eating him. |
| The Mistress (Baanoo, 1998), Dir., Dariush Mehrjui |
Originally made in 1992, this story of a rich Iranian wife walking out on her weak, cheating husband did not sit well with the Ayatollah--nor did the geologically surreal closeups of a mildewing bowl of soup throughout, described as the best rotting-food imagery since Repulsion. Hence its late release date. |
| Modern Times (1936), Dir., Charles Chaplin |
The little Tramp returns to the screen one last time, only to be trapped in a robotic factory job that puts him on the losing side of an encounter with an assembly line "feeding machine." Here he listens to the phonograph record of the Mechanical Salesman: "Good morning, my friends. this record comes to you through the Sales Talk Transcription Company, Incorporated: your speaker, the Mechanical Salesman. May I take the pleasure of introducing Mr. J. Widdecomb Billows (played by Murdock MacQuarne), the inventor of the Billows Feeding Machine, a practical device which automatically feeds your men while at work? Don't stop for lunch: be ahead of your competitor. the Billows Feeding Machine will eliminate the lunch hour, increase your production, and decrease your overhead. Allow us to point out some of the features of this wonderful machine: its beautiful, aerodynamic, streamlined body; its smoothness of action, made silent by our electro-porous metal ball bearings. Let us acquaint you with our automaton soup plate--its compressed-air blower, no breath necessary, no energy required to cool the soup.... |
| Moonstruck (1987), Dir. Norman Jewison |
After that incredible moon--Bella Luna--everyone is magicized, including storekeeper Raymond Cappomaggi (Louis Guss), who keeps prodding niece Loretta (Cher) about romance until finally he breaks into song, "Eh, that's romantic too. 'Isn't it romantic'"--then, "Eh, Frankie! Make me a bowl of minestrone...."
It's also a bowl of minestrone that Rose Castorini (Olympia Dukakis) orders from waiter Bobo, in furtherance of her dalliance with Perry (John Mahoney), another diner in the restaurant. |
| Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears, II (1981), Dir., Vladimir Menshov |
A lifetime of lovelessness ends for Soviet factory executive Katya (Vera Alentova) with a great supper of reconciliation with tool-and-die maker Gosha (Alexei Batalov). What's for supper? Borscht, of course, in a big proletarian tureen. |
| Mr. and Mrs. Smith (1941), Dir., Alfred Hitchcock |
In this odd comedy, Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Robert Montgomery and Carole Lombard) try to recapture romance by revisting Momma Lucy's restaurant from their courtship days. Hitchcock sets a sinister cat on the table to stare at the soup. "Eat your soup, dear." "There's something wrong with that soup." "It's your imagination." Why doesn't the cat eat the soup? Animals know what's good for them. You notice he ate the olives." "The pits, too." "Well, that's roughage." "Oh, make the best of it darling. Don't let it spoil our evening." That cat knows something." "Where shall we go after this?" "Home." "Home? Well, aren't we supposed to go someplace before we go home?" "All together, it would make it too late." "Oh." "I'd give five bucks to see that cat take a sip of that soup." |
| My Dinner with Andre (1982), Dir., Louis Malle |
In this classic "imaginary conversation" between quite real artist and friends Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory, Wallace establishes his plebian but wonderfully naturalistic voice early on when he steers away from the epicene appetizers and goes for the Czech peasant soup: ANDRE: ...And then, to begin with, a terrine de poisson. WAITER: Yes WALLACE: What is that? ANDRE: It's, uh, a pâté, light, made of fish. WALLACE: Does it have bones in it? ANDRE: No bones. WALLACE: Well, um, what is the, uh, bramborová polévka? WAITER: It's a potato soup. It's quite delicious. WALLACE: Oh. Well, great. I'll have that. |
| The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), Dir., Henry Selick; Written as a poem by Tim Burton |
Poor ragdoll Sally, overcontrolled by wheelchair-bound Dr. Finklestein, plans her escape to Pumpkin King Jack Skellington by poisoning Finklestein's soup with Deadly Nightshade and covering its odor with Frog's Breath. "SALLY," Finklestein barks, "ISN'T THAT SOUP READY YET?" When we next see him, Sally has flown the coop and his head is firmly bandaged--signalling that he has a really really bad headache indeed. |
| Noodle Soup, or Pho (2001), Dir., Uyen Luu |
This meditation on a Vietnamese woman's return to her homeland of Vietnam, from London, and centered around the rituals of that fabulous noodle soup pho, won the short documentary prize at the 36th annual Karlovy Vary film fest in 2001. |
| Pandaemonium (2001), Dir., Julien Temple |
Sara Coleridge's hallucinogenic thorn-apple soup causes brother Samuel (Linus Roachi) and fellow poet and friend William Wordsworth (John Hannah) to have upside down vision. Interestingly, this never happened. It was invented by Director Julien Temple in honor of his own experience of stealing thornapples from the Cambridge Botanical Gardens and getting high from them. |
| People Will Talk (1951), Dir., Joseph Mankiewicz |
A totally offbeat film about what makes a good doctor, which has Dr. Praetorius (Cary Grant) marrying an unwed mother (Jeanne Crain) to save her embarrassment (okay, she's cute too) and saving a dull-witted man (Findlay Currie) who has killed the same man twice (serving 15 years of hard labor for it then being executed for it...almost). Explaining this unlikely sequence of events, Shunderson (Currie) explains to a convocation of professors: "I found it [the body] accidentally. I was walking past a restaurant in Toronto. I happened to look in the window and there was the corpse of my friend sitting at a table eating a bowl of soup. I think it was pea soup." Praetorius interrupts, "Immaterial and irrelevant!" Continuing, "I hit him in the face with the bowl of soup. Then I hit him with a chair...." Uh oh, dead again.
Many thanks to Steve McMullen from Upland, California, for this extraordinary example of 50s social comedy. |
| Popeye (1980), Dir., Robert Altman |
In this weirder than weird adaptation of the old cartoon (screenplay, Jules Feiffer), Popeye (Robin Williams) defeats Oxblood Oxheart in the ring and returns to the Oyls in triumph for dinner. Geezil the undertaker (Richard Libertini) asks Wimpy, "What's that glob you're eating?" Wimpy (Paul Dooley), pasting said glob on a burger bun, replies, "It's a soup burger. These are difficult times. Burgers can't be choosers." Geezil sneers to Castor Oyl (Donovan Scott), "Hooey. Work is what is making the heart grow stronger. Come." And with that, Wimpy takes the psychic Swee'pea to the cathouse mechanical horseraces and upgrades his burger choices with his winnings. Many thanks to Graham Bierlein for this inspired contribution! |
| The Postman (1997), Dir., Kevin Costner |
In this post-apocalyptic yawner (2013), a world war has destroyed the U.S. government and the population lives in isolation and anarchy. A self appointed dictator general, with a band of cutthroats, rules the local area. Costner, a wanderer, finds a mail carrier's jacket and a pouch of letters and sets off as "The Postman" to deliver letters and words of hope. When he wanders into a town and performs Shakespeare, he is given a bowl of soup. Then, injured and holed up in an abandoned cabin during a snowstorm, he complains to Abby (Olivia Williams) that he can't gain strength on "snow soup." (Thanks to Trevor McMullen for the contribution, picked up in Adair, Ireland, no less!) |
| Princess Caraboo (1994), Dir., Michael Austin |
Ragged and strange, Princess Caraboo (Phoebe Cates) is discovered wandering in the English countryside, and is brought by Vicar to the Bristol estate of Mrs. Worrall (Wendy Hughes), who takes her in. French? Corsican? Turkish? Greek? Nobody knows. So off she goes to the servant hall for soup...where she picks up the bowl, tosses its pieces of meat over her shoulder, and drinks the broth straight down. Later, when accepted as Javanese royalty, doubting Greek butler Frixos (Kevin Kline) serves her cream of sorrel soup from a Meissen tureen, whispering in her ear, "You little fraud. I know you're a fraud, and I spit in the soup." When she picks up the bowl to drink, he adds, "I also pissed in it." She drinks it anyway.
Another good one by video meister Gerry Nepomuceno. |
| The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970), Dir., Billy Wilder |
In this unusually sensitive portrayal of that logical, opium-addicted British supersleuth, we see a human side. Sherlock Holmes (Robert Stevens): I've often been accused of being cold and unemotional. I admit to it. And yet, in my own cold, unemotional way, I'm very fond of you, Watson. Dr. Watson (Colin Blakely): I know that. But one likes to hear these things occasionally. Holmes: I don't dislike women, I merely distrust them. The twinkle in the eye and the arsenic in the soup." |
| The Remains of the Day (1995), Dir., James Ivory |
Sir Geoffrey Wren (Rupert Vassitart), modeled on English fascist Sir Oswald Mosley, is entertained by Lord Darlington (James Fox) for dinner and discussions at the fabulous Darlington Hall in the 1930s. Expounding his inhuman philosophy over the soup, he interrupts to make sure from the Butler (Anthony Hopkins) that he will not insensitively eat the flesh of animals.
SIR GEOFFREY: "My lord, my lord, you cannot run a country without a penal system. Now here we call them prisons. Over there they call them concentraton camps. What's the difference" Uh, Stevens, is there any meat of any kind in this soup?" |
| Requiem for a Dream (2000) Dir., Darren Arnofsky |
In this story of legal and illegal drug addiction, overweight mom Sara Goldfarb (Ellen Burstyn) dives into diet pills while her son Harry (Jared Leto), pretending to be in the import business, succumbs to his real product, narcotics. When he goes to visit her, bringing her a new tv, she is so happy: she tells him to stay, saying "I'll make you a roast and some mushroom soup." Many thanks to Steve McMullen from Anaheim, CA, for the contribution--and for having the sharpest soup eyes I know! |
| Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), Dir., William A. Graham |
Lilli (Milla Jovovich) and Richard (Brian Krause) succeed in prancing through a film entirely devoid of dramatic action, including that highly charged scene when Lilli reveals the contents of her soup to Captain Hilliard and crew of the rescuing Tradewinds: "It's eel broth...well, only the broth is eel. The little white chunks are sea urchin." Shock! Consternation! I'd almost say it's the highlight of the movie.
Many thanks to Gerry Nepomuceno of Falls Church, Virginia, for his video expertise! |
| Rocky (1976) Dir., John G. Avildsen |
In this adorable Cinderfella story, boxing manager Mickey (Burgess Meredith) asks Rocky "The Italian Stallion" Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), "What the hell are these?" when sitting at his dining room table in Rocky's apartment. "Turtles, from the pet shop," Rocky replies. Mickey responds, "They make good soup." Thanks for the cite to Vance Lipovac of Des Moines, Iowa! |
| Rocky Horror Picture Show (1972) Dir., Jim Sharman |
When Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry) flops into the pool, what are you supposed to scream at the screen? "Waiter, there's a transvestite in my soup!" |
| Roma (1972) Dir., Frederico Fellini |
This Fellini memoir opens with a retrospective of Fellini growing up in a small town north of Rome during the years of il Duce. He takes us into his home and sits us down to dinner with his family. Suddenly cook rushes in with a steaming kettle of soup, exclaiming, "The Pope is giving his blessing on the radio!." Familiy members drop to their knees, all but papa, who stays seated with his hat on, shouting, "Bring on the soup, you idiot. Bring me that god damned soup!" |
| The Seven Deadly Sins---"Anger" (1962), Dirs., Eugene Ionesco & Sylvain Dhomme (directors of the other 6 sin segments include Goddard, Chabrol, DeBroca, Vadim, and Demy) |
Dear friend Ray Connolly discovered this jewel and says this about it: "A typically zany French farce, ANGER begins with various couples of all ages and types living in an apartment house and enjoying a spooky, unreal kind of happiness. (They discuss only good news, they put the best spin on everything that happens, and even the TV newscasts are restricted to only happy news.) But then each couple is enjoying some soup when one discovers a fly in the soup. Sharp words escalate into furious ANGER which leads to violent fighting and torrents of soup flowing down the stairs of the apartment house, which ultimately burns to the ground. Rioting breaks out in the street, quickly escalating to international tensions, the outbreak of war, an exchange of nuclear-tipped missiles, and the ultimate destruction of planet Earth. The closing title expresses the hope that the other six deadly sins won't be as destructive." |
| Shanghai Noon (2000), Dir., Tom Dey |
Chon Wang (Jackie Chan) sets out with 4 members of the Imperial Guard from the Forbidden City to Carson City, Nevada, to rescue Princess Pei Pei. While the Imperial Guard slurp their noodle soup enroute, Chon's uncle is shot dead by train robbers. Sidetracked by revenge, Chon is unleashed into the wild west. And wasn't that Native American soup he was eating right before getting high on the peace pipe? |
| Shirley Valentine (1989), Dir., Lewis Gilbert |
Shirley, out of sterile England and in Greece at last, is coopted in the resort restaurant by Jeanette and Dougie from Manchester...who couldn't stand the sight of an Englishwoman alone. She is forced to endure plummy storries at table about building a house extension to accommodate a jacuzzi. She brightly turns to the camera and says:
"It's a good job we're not having soup or I'd put me head in it and drown myself." |
| Silent Movie (1976), Dir., Mel Brooks |
It's close to the end of this ridiculous retro silent movie...New York City-based corporation "Engulf and Destroy" has lost the original and only cut of the stolen "Silent Movie" film...a high speed chase is on....the good guys tangle with a panel truck from "Acne Pest Control" and its 3-foot, 50-pound display rubber fly flies off the truck and lands on an outdoor café table. The newspaper-reading customer (Milton Berle) casually signals--storyboarded in writing, on celluloid (it being a silent movie):
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup."You know, this is one sight gag that refuses to die, no matter how many times you get on your knees at night and pray. Many thanks to Joe Zeff, senior tech support rep at http://home.earthlink.net/~sidebrnz for the contribution. |
| The Sixth Sense (1999), Dir., M. Night Shymalan | Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) finally becomes a believer in 9-year-old Cole Sear's paranormal powers--and encourages him to help the needy ghosts who appear to him. First customer, the ghost of Kyra Collins who is so sad that her "perfect, sacrificing mom" of a mother (Angelica Torn) killed her, that she enlists Cole's help in making public a videotape that has filmed mom in the act of doctoring her soup with poison. |
| The Small Back Room (1949), Dirs., Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger |
This gritty tale of alcoholism and wartime stress shows bomb expert Sammy Rice's (David Farrar) struggle against the bottle. In one scene, his arrival prevents a civil servant from finishing his soup.
Many thanks to Richard Layne of Great Britain for contributing this and other Powell/Pressburger films, which share "uneaten soup" as a recurrent theme. See I Know Where I'm Going and The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, infra. |
| Snow Dogs (2002), Dir., Brian Levant | Forgetting that soup jokes are NOT funny, the script has Thunder Jack (James Coburn) offer Teddy (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) a swig of something bad from his flask: "Have some soup." Teddy takes a gulp and spits it out in disgust: "I thought you said that was soup." Jack replies (badaboom): "Well, there's soup IN it." |
| Soapdish (1991), Dir., Michael Hoffman |
Okay, this isn't so easy to explain. Sally Field, playing soap opera diva Celeste Talbert, playing her role of the warm and caring Maggie, is scripted to be doling out bean soup to homeless people in Jamaica after a catastrophic oil spill...then to be attacked with a 12-inch knife by one of them--who is young, beautiful, and mute--and to end up murdering her. When the newly hired unknown turns out to be Celeste's niece (actually her illegitimate daughter), things don't turn out according to script. Celeste/Maggie: A little soup...because it's so warming. Homeless man: You're so kind, Miss. C/M: Call me Maggie. Yes...There we are. Please, go in and stay out of the sun.... ...Here's yours.... ...Thank you.... ...Enjoy it.... [At this point, niece/illegitimate daughter/mute homeless person Angelique/Lori Craven approaches] ...Some for you.... [When niece/etc. goes to stab Aunt/natural mother/etc. Maggie with a huge blade, there's sudden recognition.] C/M: Lori? Niece/etc.: Aunt Celeste? Many thanks to Jim Tanner-Uicker from Royal Oak, Michigan, for the contribution! |
| Il Sorpasso, or The Easy Life (1962), Dir., Dino Risi | Roberto (Jean-Louis Trintignant), a shy student, meets Bruno (Vittorio Gassman), a forty-year-old exuberant, capricious man, who takes him for a 2-day drive through the Roman country--and at one point stops along the way for a bowl of fish soup. Roberto's wide-eyed admiration turns to knowledge as he realizes the hollowness of the older man. Many thanks to Peter Jones of Los Angeles for the contribution. |
| The Soup Song (1933), Animator, Ub Iwerks |
The legendary animation pioneer (and creator of Mickey Mouse) Ub Iwerks left Walt Disney in 1930 and struck out on his own with Flip the Frog. In this adorable short, Flip is head waiter in a cafe, orchestrating the orchestral entertainment, the seating and service, and cooking up the soup in the kitchen. He gets sidetracked by a flirtatious kitten, but ultimately serves the soup to a big tuxedoed dog--first throwing a life preserver to the fly swimming in the soup (see Soup Jokes), then conducting a symphony of the dog's soup sipping to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. |
| Spartacus (1960), Dir., Stanley Kubrick |
Spartacus (Kirk Douglas) falls in love with Varinia (Jean Simmons) over soup she's doling out at the Gladiator Slave School in Capua. When she is sold off to decadent Roman aristocrats, he is goaded by Marcellus, the cruel gladiator trainer--and he reacts by lashing out, drowning Marcellus in a very large kettle of bean soup, thus igniting the rebellion of the gladiator slaves against Rome and Roman rule. In the filming of the scene, "Marcellus" actually broke his jaw when his face was shoved into the pot, but he was a good sport and let the scene finish before asking to go to the hospital. |
| Spellbound (1945), Dir., Alfred Hitchcock |
All those psychiatrists at Green Manor--you know all that analysis is going to stir up an appetite. And sure enough, when Dr. Murchison (Leo G. Carroll) is kicked out for having a breakdown after 20 years on the job, Drs. Peterson (Ingrid Bergman), Fleurot (John Emory), Graff (Steven Geray), and Hanish (Paul Harvey) join him for soup at dinner, daintily spooning sip after sip, awaiting the arrival of his replacement, the mysterious Dr.Edwards/John Ballantine (Gregory Peck). |
| State and Main (2000), Dir., David Mamet |
All the impending moviemaking disasters seem successfully averted...when Director Walt Price (William H. Macy), Stars Bob Berrenger (Alec Baldwin) and Claire Wellesley (Sarah Jessica Parker) misplace the dinner invitation and forget to show up at the Mayor's (Charles Durning). The Mayor waits...and waits...and waits. When one hungry guest finally picks up the soup spoon, the Mayor's wife (Patti LuPone, completely over the top) hisses fortissimo, "DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT!" And what was that elegant soup in flat white soup bowls? Looked like lobster bisque to me. |
| Sunshine (1999), or A Napfény íze, Dir., István Szabó |
Four soups served in 4 key scenes--all from beautiful tureens at Jewish family dinners in Budapest, largely before the fall of Emperor Franz Josef's multicultural liberal stable regime. In the happy days, papa Emmanuel Sonnenschein (David De Keyser) complains, "There's too much salt in this soup!" To which Valeria (Jennifer Ehle) replies, "The cook must be in love." That's before her love for brother/cousin Ignatz (Ralph Fiennes) is discovered. Next: Valeria is preggers and Ignatz announces his intention to marry her, right before the soup is served. Mama (Miriam Margolyes) faints, falls on the floor, and "Sunshine," the famous family herbal tonic, is administered. Third: Wedding soup, with dumplings. And last, Ignatz--ignominious after the death of Franz Josef and the rise of the communists, under arrest and a shadow of himself--is served soup in the same bowl, from the same tureen, as had been his papa. "There is no salt in this soup," he weeps. And mama and estranged wife fight over the salt shaker, a contest that hinges on whether his taste or his blood pressure will be served. The dinners, the bowls, the tureens, the religion--all are swept away henceforth. |
| Superstar: The Life and Times of Andy Warhol (1991), Dir., Chuck Workman |
Campbell Soup Executives discuss the impact of Warhol's Soup Can pop art on The Bottom Line. |
| La Symphonie Pastoral (1946) Dir., Jean Delannoy |
A superb contribution, sent in by pal Ray Connolly in these words: "The story deals with a pastor in the Swiss Alps summoned to a dilapidated cabin where an old woman has died. He learns that she has a blind daughter who is running wild in animal-like conditions (à la Truffaut's WILD CHILD). He and a neighbor woman make a pot of soup (type not identified) and the pastor takes a dish of it to an open doorway and starts hitting the dish with a spoon. ("Soup, soup, wonderful soup!" No, that was my imagination.) Yes, sure enough, this wild girl comes a-runnin from the woods and gets down on her knees to slurp up the soup like a dog or cat would. The slurping sounds are real loud. You'll love this scene!" Many thanks, Raymundo! |
| Tampopo (1986), Dir., Juzo Itami |
Newly widowed Tampopo (Nobuko Miyamoto) will stop at nothing to achieve the perfect noodle for the perfect ramen soup. Enter truckdriver Goro (Tsutomu Yamazaki) and his team of advisers who opine, "It's the soup that animates the noodles." Tampopo trains like an Olympic athlete to succeed, with Goro acting as her coach. And to get just the right recipe for her soup, they're not above bribery or rifling through a successful restaurant's garbage to filch its secrets.
Many thanks to Joan Myers of Los Angeles for suggesting this superb comedy for the collection. |
| Three Kings (1999), Dir., David O. Russell |
In this postmodern depiction of the postmodern Gulf War--with a treasure hunt for Saddam Hussein's stolen gold bullion as the plot--Major Archie Gates (George Clooney) says, "I'm talking about millions of Kuwaiti bullion." His goofy sidekick replies, "Is that the little cube you put in hot water to make soup?" "No," says the Major, "it's not the little cube you put in water to make soup." |
| Tom Jones (1963), Dir., Tony Richardson |
The famous, sex-drenched eating scene between Tom (Albert Finney) and, (all unknowingly) possibly his mother Mrs. Waters (Joyce Redman) begins naturally enough with big steaming pewter bowls of soup, whereat Mrs. Waters leans well over the table and lustily slurps big round spoonsful, breasts tumbling out of her bodice, with a more-than-come-hither look. Tom, nearly overcome, involuntarily rips a claw off the langouste he has in his hand and sucks happily on it. Drafts of ale, turkey, oysters, pears, and wine are then dispatched with loving attention. |
| Tortilla Soup (2001), Dir., Maria Ripoll |
In this charming remake of Ang Lee's Eat Drink Man Woman, Hispanic chef Martin (Hector Elizondo) opens the movie making squash blossom soup (which daughter Carmen criticizes for not including the seeds of the serrano peppers. And youngest daughter Maribel (Tamara Mello) precipitates disaster when she tries to teach her Brazilian boyfriend (Nikolai Kinski) soup manners. But it's the tortilla soup scene that is the heart of the movie, when Martin begins to accept his daughters' love and free will. Daughter Letitia (Elizabeth Peña) brings home for dinner the man she's just eloped with:
Orlando (Paul Rodriguez): "I love toppings. I've always loved toppings. Sometimes I go to restaurants and I just ask for toppings. You know, I say, the more toppings the merrier. I, ...that's what I say.Many thanks to Gerry Nepomucena and Frantzie Couch for reminding me of this great soup scene.
|
| Trainspotting (1996), Dir., Danny Boyle |
In a comically wrenching scene, Ewan McGregor plays Mark "Rent-boy" Renton, preparing to detox himself of his heroin addiction: "Relinquishing junk. Stage one, preparation. for this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium. Which I've already procured from my mother. Who is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict. And now I'm ready. All I need is one final hit to soothe the pain while the Valium takes effect." |
| Unforgiven (1992), Dir., Clint Eastwood |
With everyone after the Wyoming bounty money to kill the men who cut up a prostitute in Greely's Beer Garden and Billiard Parlor, English Bob (Richard Harris) rolls into town only to confront old nemesis Sheriff Little Bill Daggett (Gene Hackman): Little Bill: It's been a long time, Bob. You run out of Chinamen? English Bob: Little Bill, well I thought you was, well I thought that you were dead. I see you've shaved your chin whiskers off. Little Bill: I was tasting the soup two hours after I ate it. English Bob: Well, actually, what I heard was that you fell off your horse, drunk of course, and that you broke your bloody neck. Little Bill: I heard that one myself, Bob. Hell, I even thought I was dead till I found out I was just that I was in Nebraska. |
| Vietnam documentary (2001), Dirs., Laura Kelly and Nick Brooks |
In this search for the "real" nation of Vietnam today, these filmmakers shoot an entire segment on phó, the classic North Vietnamese soup. |
| The Wedding Banquet (Hsi Yen, 1993), Dir., Ang Lee |
Wai-Tung Gao (Winston Chao) is in New York City managing real estate for his family back in Taiwan-and is in a longterm relationship with Andrew. But the pressure from his family to marry a woman is ferocious. Unwilling to confess he is gay, he arranges a marriage of convenience with one of his tenants, Wei-Wei (May Chin). Mom and Dad arrive in ecstacy for the wedding and a 2-week stay. Wai-Tung and Wei-Wei's modest plans almost immediately go stratospheric. Mrs. Gao (Ah Lei Gua): "Sister Mao, please get the Lotus soup." Wai-Tung and Wei-Wei bow three times to the parents and are handed an envelope. "Thank you, Ma." "Thank you." Mrs. Gao: "We're turning Wai-Tung over to you." Mr. Gao (Sihung Lung): And you, Wai-Tung, must care well for Wei-Wei." Wai-Tung: "I will" Mr. Gao: "Here's a soup for a quick first son." Wai-Tung: Wei-Wei, kneel for the soup." Mrs. Gao: "Have some lotus soup, a son will come quickly." Wei-Wei: "Come on, Wai-Tung, kneel down and have some soup with me." Wai-Tung: "Having a son is a female thing." Mrs. Gao: "She can't five birth without your help, right?" Mrs. Gao feeds Wei-Wei the soup, blowing on each spoonful. And Wei-Wei bursts into tears and is led out of the room. |
| What's New, Pussycat? (1965), Dir., Clive Donner |
I don't know what Peter Sellers and Peter O'Toole did for lunch, but Woody Allen reportedly went into a complete obsessive-compulsive condition during the filming of the movie, eating exactly the same meal of sole and soup for 6 months straight. |
| The Wind Will Carry Us (1999--Bad ma ra khahad bord), Dir., Abbas Kiarostami |
The metaphysical Iranian movie centers around an ailing 100-year-old woman, never seen, whose neighbor serves her soup every day and around whom a mysterious death watch congregates. Daily topic of conversation: did she eat it...or did she not? |
| Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988), Dir., Pedro Almodovar |
Poor Pepa (Carmen Maura). Iván (Fernando Guillén) leaves her and she is desolate. Staying home, in hopes that he will call, she makes a batch of gazpacho, then dreamily laces it with a full prescription of super barbituates. While it's chilling, people start arriving--a friend who has unwittinging abetted Shiite terrorists; young lovers; Iván and his new lover; Iván's wife; police inspectors, you name it. One by one, different characters help themselves to the soup and instantly fall into a deep and long sleep.... |
| Xiu Xiu: The Sent Down Girl (1999), Dir., Joan Chen |
This painfully beautiful movie chronicles the story of Xiu Xiu, victim of Mao Zedong's "rustification period," where she starts out in exile with a Tibetan horseman who kindly makes her onion soup...and who then is forced to watch as she desperately and unsuccessfully uses her body with passing strangers to try to escape back to civilization. |
| Yojimbo (1961), Dir., Akira Kurosawa |
Masterless samurai Sanjuro (Toshiro Mifune) plays two clans against the other in a corrupt village, staying the while with Gonji the sake seller (Eijro Tono) and eating straight out of his soup kettle with chopsticks. |
| Young Frankinstein (1974), Dir., Mel Brooks |
The Monster (Peter Boyle) breaks loose from Young Friedrich von Frankenstein (Gene Wilder) and terrorizes the countryside. The scene shifts: in a lonely cell, we find the blind hermit Harold (Gene Hackman) on his knees praying to God for a visitor, a temporary companion to share a few hours of his lonely vigil. When the Monster bursts through the door, the blind Harold is overcome with delight, welcoming him. Harold: "but your hand is frozen, my child. How does a nice bowl of soup sound to you? Monster: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! H: I know what it means to, to be cold and hungry. Yes, and how much it means to have a little kindness from a stranger. Are you ready for your soup? M: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! H: Hold out your bowl, then. Ah my friend, my friend, you don't know what your visit means to me. How long I've waited for the pleasure of another human being. Sometimes in our conversations... [ladling boiling soup directly into the Monster's lap] M: AURGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! H: ...we tend to forget the simple pleasures, the basis for true happiness... [oops, there goes another ladleful of boiling soup into the lap] M: AURGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! H: Now, would you like a little wine with your soup.... Many thanks to Joe Rowe for the excellent contribution. |