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Want to ruin your life? Try Maltby's way, in Max Beerbohm's "Maltby and Braxton," by splashing Borscht on your white waistcoat at the highest society event of a lifetime.

A sober lesson on the dangers of soup, pictured as part of a series of Czechoslovakian matchboxes from the 40's or 50's with a child-safety theme. Steve McMullen, who told me about this, notes that "Chrante Deti" translates as "Watch out, kids!" The rest of the series can be found at www.cardhouse.com/a/distress.